and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
