I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
