wrigley field is MILF paradise
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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