I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
