my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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