She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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