What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
