why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
