So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize