How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
