After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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