That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
