Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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