My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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