I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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