I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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