No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize