I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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