addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
