yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
