it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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