I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
