Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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