Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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