Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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