you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
