i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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