I got chris browned last night
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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