i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Is it penis luge time yet?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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