im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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