try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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