Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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