break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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