dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
