hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
