Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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