i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
