About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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