I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
