I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
