we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I forget how to act sober
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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