Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
