so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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