I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
