I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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