well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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