hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
