Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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