What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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