I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
