Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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