thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
