I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
