Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
