I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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