My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
