my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
